


i'm blistered but i'm better (and i'm home)

by foundfamilyvevo



Series: straight for your heart (wolfpack au) [17]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Families of Choice, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, OT5, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:14:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27010303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foundfamilyvevo/pseuds/foundfamilyvevo
Summary: "I remember exactly what you looked like," Liam mumbles, pulling his sleeves over his hands. "What you were wearing, all of it. You were so... calm and strong and kind, and I was so scared of you."Or, Liam and Zayn have a moment on the back steps.
Relationships: Zayn Malik/Liam Payne
Series: straight for your heart (wolfpack au) [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/617623
Comments: 14
Kudos: 31





	i'm blistered but i'm better (and i'm home)

**Author's Note:**

> hi i am jumping out of absolutely nowhere with this update that i just wrote at 3.30am my time based on an old conversation eva and i had.  
> title from watch the sky by something corporate.

Liam's sitting on the back step when Zayn finds him.

It's just turning from late summer to proper autumn. The trees are gradients from green to orange, and the flowers in the garden are going, or gone. Louis, Harry, Niall and the kids are in the process of making Halloween cookies, and they're chatting and squealing and laughing so loudly Zayn can still hear them from out here, like he can see the light spilling from the kitchen window, coaxing them back in. Zayn's circadian rhythm still hasn't adapted to these earlier sunsets.

This evening, the sunset casts Liam's brown hair and beard into the gold of his wolf fur, and his eyes are someplace else. He does this sometimes, sits alone in the back garden in the evening, and traditionally Zayn encourages this and gives him his space. Especially when Liam was new to them, constantly teetering between separation anxiety and suffocation, his own time outside was essential to his healing.

Tonight, something feels different. Clearing his throat to announce his presence, Zayn murmurs, "Can I sit with you?"

Liam nods, pulling his knees up to rest his chin on them. Zayn sits next to him, and tries to follow his gaze out into the forest. Tries, not for the first time, to read one of his packmate's minds.

"You found me," Liam says after a moment. Initially Zayn thinks Liam means here and now, in this moment, until Liam gestures to the forest down the end of the garden, falling into dark shadows as the sun sinks. "Out there when I was lost."

"I did," Zayn acknowledges. He looks for clues in Liam's face, or Liam's hands, anything to tell him what's brought this on. As Liam's gotten older he's gotten steadier, more pensive. A little harder to read, sure, but Zayn also knows him better. "Long time ago now, hey."

"I remember exactly what you looked like," Liam mumbles, pulling his sleeves over his hands. "What you were wearing, all of it. You were so... calm and strong and kind, and I was so scared of you."

Of course, Zayn remembers Liam, too. Liam, gaunt and tangly-curly, terrified and exactly what they needed. Liam who had been alone for so long, who never knew the Zayn of the past. Who never once looked at Zayn and saw all his old posturing, his cold anger, his deep shame.

Not that the others love him any less, Zayn knows. Not that they haven't forgiven him for how he used to act, for the mistakes he made while he was clinging to looking like a good alpha rather than just being one. It's just something special, that fresh start, something he only has with Liam. The only one where he could build from the ground up, untainted, showing Liam what an alpha could be.

Liam rests his head on Zayn's shoulder. His hair brushes Zayn's cheek, almost too soft to be true. Holding him close with an arm around his shoulders, now that he's been invited, Zayn scents the top of Liam's head. Pine needles and roast potatoes and home.

"I used to wake up thinking that I'd be back there," Liam admits. Zayn feels the heat of his breath on his collarbone. "Like one day I'd wake up on some wet dirt and be hungry and by myself, that this was all some unbelievable dream. But it never happened, and now that time... the time I spent out there, that feels like the bad dream. I keep waking up... here."

"And aren't we blessed for that," Zayn mumbles into the top of Liam's head. "Always want you here."

A particularly cold breeze has Liam snuggling down tighter against Zayn's side, even though with all the exercise he's been doing he's grown to approximately seven times Zayn's own size. "I've been here longer." Liam lets out a wobbly sigh. "Today, I mean. I've been keeping track, like. Today's the day I've been here longer than I was by myself."

Liam's kept count. Zayn has no fucking idea what to say. "Oh, babe," he whispers, heart tugging hard against his chest, like the organ itself is trying to bring Liam closer. "Babe," he whispers again, overwhelmed. All of a sudden all he can picture is Liam lying in bed each night or waking up each morning and marking himself one day further away from all that awful pain. Each day considered something extra, rather than just what he deserved. Like Liam isn't the most deserving of a home of everyone Zayn has ever met. Like he doesn't appreciate every breath in their company.

Throat tight, Zayn wishes he could have Louis's way with words, always prepared with something solemn or something hilarious, always right from the heart. It's like Louis barely has to think, and then it's all out there, all his thoughts and feelings, for better or for worse. Despite years of careful practice, Zayn can't always replicate that talent himself. "Can I kiss you?" he asks Liam instead, at a loss for how else to show his feelings.

Liam blinks back a few tears and sits up to face him, smiling. His sweet nose crinkles, just a little, and Zayn wants to drown in him. "Yeah. Um, please. Please do."

Zayn puts two fingers under Liam's chin, tilts it up just a little. He takes his time leaning in, and keeps his eyes on Liam's the whole time, trying his best to convey with his actions what he could never fit into words - how thankful he is Liam is with them, how glad he is that Liam could come to him about this, how sorry he is that Liam couldn't have been with them right from the start. He takes his time kissing Liam, too, cupping Liam's head in his hands. Their precious Liam, the fifth point to their star.

Liam kissed him back sweet as honey, resting one big hand in the centre of Zayn's chest. Like he felt Zayn's heart try to reach him, before.

"This feels so real," Liam says, dazed, when they pull apart. The very last rays of sun catch his dewy eyelashes and make him look young again, just for a moment. Like he did when Zayn first met him. When Zayn was younger, too. "I'm really never leaving, am I?"

"As long as you want to stay," Zayn promises, squeezing Liam's knee, "you never have to leave."

**Author's Note:**

> love yall forever


End file.
